Neurodivergence
Boys are four times as likely to have autism compared to girls. They are three times as likely to have ADHD compared to girls. Boys are nearly three times as likely to have a learning disorder—such as dyslexia, dyscalculia, or dysgraphia—compared to girls.
Autism studies have a male-to-female ratio of 8:1 [1]. ADHD studies of a male-to-female ratio of 9:1 [2]. Studies on learning disorders have a male-to-female ratio of 3:2 [3].
That first paragraph makes more sense now, doesn’t it?
When teachers, counselors, and therapists are diagnosing an individual as neurodivergent, they look for specific characteristics and qualities based on studies of the possible diagnosis. However, when studies have a super-majority of male test subjects, the super-majority of diagnoses will be male. When mis- or undiagnosed, women and girls may go their whole lives without the understanding or support they need—simply because their neurological disorder doesn’t present itself in the same way it does in men. Now, to understand the influence gender has on neurodivergency, one must know what neurodivergency actually is, how it appears in girls versus boys, and the effect that undiagnosing has on women.
What is Neurodivergence?
According to the Cleveland Clinic [4], “The term ‘neurodivergent’ describes people whose brain differences affect how their brain works. That means they have different strengths and challenges from people whose brains don’t have those differences. The possible differences include medical disorders, learning disabilities, and other conditions.”
Historically, neurodivergent individuals have been ostracized by society and, in some cases, sent to insane asylums with very poor conditions and treatment. People with atypical brain functions were believed to be insane and even dangerous. Although today there is more acceptance of these divergences, many of these outdated beliefs remain deeply ingrained in modern culture and cause bullying, isolation, and harassment targeted at neurodivergent people. The fact of the matter is that neurodivergent people are not dangerous nor insane—their brains simply work a little differently than what is considered standard. Medicine, trauma, or any situation does not cause their brains to function differently; neurodivergence is genetic, just as having black hair or brown eyes is.
Masking
Before we get into the next section, we need clarification on what masking is. The Oxford Review has an article on masking that I encourage you to read. Still, the basic definition they give is: “Masking, in the context of neurodiversity, refers to the act of suppressing or camouflaging natural behaviors, thoughts, or responses in order to conform to neurotypical social expectations… Masking can involve mimicking social cues, forcing eye contact, hiding stimming behaviors, rehearsing conversations, or pretending to understand things when they don’t. It is often subconscious and habitual, particularly when someone has been masking for many years.”
Female vs. Male Neurodivergence
When people think of autism, they often think of a child or adult who cannot understand social cues for the life of them and is obsessed with trains, science fiction, or history. If someone thinks of ADHD, they often picture a person who is constantly energetic, loud, and impulsive. Or if people think of learning disabilities, they typically think of a person who has difficulty with speech, gets bad grades, and has trouble socializing. Although some of these stereotypes may apply to a few girls, they are, by and large, male neurodivergent traits.
Because of the severe understudying of the female divergent brain, it is actually unknown how these divergences appear in women. Additionally, even when they do emerge in women, they are less likely to show these traits because women are infamously good at masking. From a young age, girls can conceal their differences compared to their male peers.
Societal Expectations
While scientists speculate that something in the female brain makes women exceptional at masking, I believe society does this. Women have learned that the labels placed upon them are character attacks with lasting effects. Their male peers will “outgrow” their quirks. Think about it… when a boy cannot get social cues, he is a dork, a quirky trait. When a girl can’t, she is weird and awkward, a judgment about who she is. When a boy is energetic and loud, he is rambunctious, active, and spirited. Meanwhile, if a girl is, she is difficult and not ladylike– a failure to meet the feminine ideal. When a boy is struggling in school, he is just having a hard time and needs support. When a girl is, it clearly means she is just a pretty face, and school was never meant for her– a verdict on her intelligence. This imbalance teaches girls that mistakes and differences reflect their worth, so they hide them. It teaches boys that behavior is behavior, not identity.
Growing up with these differences, it is clear why girls are better at masking. Masking became a survival mechanism to get through every aspect of life when adults do not give girls the understanding or the support that boys have. Additionally, girls will start to show their divergences in ways that aren’t recognized, which is why “girls aren’t as prone to neurodivergence.”
The Consequences
A misdiagnosis or lack of diagnosis can have serious consequences, and women take the brunt of that fallout. At best, it means being misunderstood, dismissed, or ostracized by peers and even family members. At worst, it can mean being denied the medical or therapeutic support you genuinely need, falling behind in school or work, and developing additional mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
Being a suspected or confirmed neurodivergent girl is brutal, but the situation is not hopeless. The best thing you can do is advocate for yourself. Professionals and others will brush you off, ignore you, and underestimate you more than expected. Stand your ground and keep making noise until someone actually listens.
Educate yourself about yourself and find communities who will understand and support you. Most importantly, make sure you get the understanding, support, and treatment you deserve.
Citations
- MIT News – Autism Study
Sample, Ian. “Studies of Autism Tend to Exclude Women, Researchers Find.” MIT News, Massachusetts Institute of Technology. - ADHD in Girls and Boys Study
ADHD in Girls and Boys – Gender Differences in Co-Existing Symptoms and Executive Function Measures. National Library of Medicine. - Gender Differences in Special Educational Needs Identification
Daniel, Lucy. “Gender Differences in Special Educational Needs Identification.” Review of Education, vol. 11, no. 3, 2023, Wiley Online Library, https://doi.org/10.1002/rev3.3464. - Cleveland Clinic – Neurodivergent Definition
“Neurodivergent.” Cleveland Clinic, https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/23154-neurodivergent. Accessed [your access date].
