If you’re reading this, the constant push to be flawless is probably something you’re familiar with. Maybe it’s because of those straight A’s you always strive for, the pressure to remain ”perfect” on social media, or both. It’s exhausting, right? You’re not the only one to feel this way, though. The pressure of perfectionism is common among teenage girls such as yourself and can weigh on you heavily.
It’s just that, one way or the other, perfectionism will find a way to sneak up on you and make you feel inadequate. No matter how well you do, that pesky little voice inside keeps telling you:
“You can do better.”
Struggling to identify the source of these emotions, cope with their effects, and overcome the pressure they’re putting you under? This guide is for you!
Read on and discover how to kick perfectionism to the curb—once and for all!
The causes and effects of perfectionism
Every single thing about you is amazing. Yet, you don’t believe that to be true.
Why is that?
Or, rather, why do you feel the absolute necessity to be flawless at all times?
One common reason is the high expectations. These may be set by your parents, teachers, or even yourself. When you fail to meet them—let alone exceed them—you can find yourself feeling like a failure.
Social media can also be to blame. Instagram and TikTok make it seem as if everyone has the perfect body, perfect grades, and perfect lives as a whole. You don’t, so you think to yourself:
”I’m not enough and am surely doing something wrong.”
If not treated, perfectionism can seriously impact your mental health and well-being, leading to:
- Stress and anxiety
- Low self-esteem
- Burnout
- Social isolation
How perfectionism impacts the mental health of teenage girls
Perfectionism influences the mental well-being of teenage girls in particular, according to a study on the National Library of Medicine’s website.
When trying to be perfect—constantly—you’ll find yourself fixating on every little thing. This can make it hard to relax and may lead to long-term stress and anxiety so overwhelming that they prevent you from enjoying life, let alone getting a good night’s sleep.
At the same time, anything short of what you deem “perfect” can make you feel inadequate. You might start questioning your skills—even in areas where you excel.
There’s also burnout, caused by the pressure to do everything right, that depletes your energy.
Finally, perfectionism can also cause you to feel isolated socially. You might find it hard to unwind and be genuine around others, leading to skipping social gatherings because you’re afraid people will judge you.
How to cultivate a healthier mindset
We’ve talked about how perfectionism can mess with your mind and life.
Now, let’s get into how to start thinking in a way that’s healthier and way less stressful.
#1 Embrace imperfection
Nobody’s perfect, neither physically nor mentally, and that’s what makes us human. Seriously. We all make mistakes, too. So, if a mistake does happen, try to see it as an opportunity to learn rather than a failure.
#2 Set realistic goals
Instead of aiming for perfection, try setting realistic and achievable goals. Break things down into smaller, manageable steps. This way, you can celebrate the small victories along the way, which helps build confidence and reduces stress.
#3 Surround yourself with positive people
Hang out with true friends who support you and make you feel good about yourself. Say somebody in your life was constantly putting you down or making you feel inferior. It might be time to set some boundaries or cut ties with them.
#4 Seek help when needed
Many young people experience difficult times. In fact, a recent study from 2019 in Georgia showed that 30% of high school students in this state reported feeling sad or hopeless in their everyday lives. While this is a concerning number, it can show you that you are not alone and should ask for help when you need it.
Sometimes, just talking to a friend or a family member can make a world of difference. They can offer support and help you gain perspective. However, when just talking with a loved one is not enough, seeking professional help might be necessary. Understanding the severity of the ongoing situation and the need for professional help, Georgia provides various resources to help residents cope with the pressure of perfectionism. As one of the more prominent mental health centers in the state, Time Wellness Georgia, offers free consultations, has modern facilities, and uses evidence-based therapies to help you deal with any issue you might have.
#5 Practice self-compassion
Be kind to yourself. If you wouldn’t say something harsh to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.
So, when you feel that critical voice popping up, tell yourself something positive, like:
- “I’m doing my best,”
- or “It’s okay to make mistakes.”
#6 Focus on your strengths
Take some time to think about what you’re really good at and what you enjoy doing. Focus on these strengths rather than fixating on your perceived weaknesses. Everyone has unique talents and abilities—celebrate yours!
Don’t let the pressure of perfectionism steer you down!
Being perfect is overrated and, honestly, impossible. So, to truly stop the pressure of perfectionism from being so pressuring, it’s time to embrace who you are. Flaws and all. Celebrate your wins, surround yourself with good people, and don’t be afraid of mistakes! After all, they help shape you into a wiser you. Of course, if things get tough, get help. But also remember that perfectionism doesn’t define you. You do. So, go out there and live your life on your terms. Kick perfectionism to the curb and be the amazing, unique person you are.
Sources:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9125265/
https://namiga.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/21/2022/01/MHD-Green-Day-at-the-Capitol-2022-Final.pdf
https://gacoeonline.gsu.edu/gmap/
