by: C. Maddox
I will never compare to you
You say I don’t have to
But I see in your eyes the truth
I have to exceed
So I tear myself apart
Do you like your trophy?
You say I have to fly
So why do you put rocks
In my pockets
I can’t fly
I can only
D
R
O
W
N
How am I supposed to heal
If you took all of my bandages?
I bleed everywhere
With you standing over me
The culprit
Yet it is my fault
So I apologize
We are all best friends
But you are sisters
And I am just a friend
It will never be equal
I know you don’t mean it
I try not to resent it
I fail
Why do I do this?
Why do I torture myself?
Is it because of you?
Is it for you?
Do you even know?
Do you know what you have done?
What you have made?
I will answer for you
You have made someone who will be inferior
Always
They know it
I know it
Yet I still try
It won’t be enough
Am I smiling or crying?
I think I am doing both
It is the only helpful thing you taught me
How to hide one emotion with another
But it isn’t working anymore
The tears fall
The smile widens
I don’t know which emotion they want to see
I don’t know which one I feel
I think I feel neither
I spill out my emotions
Not knowing who will answer
Not knowing if I want anyone to answer
Inside I know
They will feel something for a moment
Maybe pity
Sadness
Anger
But after
They will move on
Not thinking of the soul calling out
Because that is what this will always be
The Unheard Cries of a Teenage Girl
