The It Girl: Simplified

nd sOne quick Google search of the term it girl will generate millions of research papers, videos, and articles about who today’s it girls are and how to become one. From clothes to hobbies to even mannerisms, there seems to be a never-ending list of what girls and young women must do to become the girl whom everyone else either loves or hates to love. To understand the individual and cultural impacts of the it girl syndrome, it is important to understand the basic principles of what exactly an it girl is, how to become one, and what these standards for girls and young women reveal about society.

To start off, an it girl is defined by Wikipedia as “an attractive, well-known young woman who is perceived to have both sex appeal and a personality that is especially engaging”  [1]. Today, the term is used to refer to beautiful women who appear to be the closest thing a person can get to perfection: style, intelligence, independence, and confidence. Essentially, an it girl is a girl who has it all.

However, it is important to know the difference between a popular girl and an it girl. Popularity has seemed to exist since the beginning of time. There have always been those who, for some reason or another, seem to know everyone—those who get invited to all the parties. It girls, however, are the girls who everyone knows, the ones who host all the parties. It girls are not known for impressive skill or memorable traits like popular girls, but rather are defined by their entire being. Popular girls come and go, but it girls ingrained their existence into an entire culture.

So, the question on millions of girls’ minds: what does it take to become an it girl today? Well, it is actually quite simple to become one. All you need is access to money, incredible intelligence, impossible beauty, and always have unwavering confidence. An it girl doesn’t have to worry about the cost of spoiling herself with luxurious clothes, bags, and perfumes. She holds the “right” opinions on social issues and is disgustingly knowledgeable in every subject from literature to science.

Somehow she looks both youthful and mature; she doesn’t need makeup or filters to look like the girls in magazines. She has issues and is therefore relatable, but never do her issues actually affect her. Every guy wants to date her, but she has only a “tasteful” dating history. And above all, she maintains every one of these standards effortlessly and constantly. One is either an it girl or she isn’t—remember, there is no such thing as halfway perfect.

As social media influence rises, so does the pressure to embody this perfection. Society is notorious for imposing unrealistic expectations on girls and young women, but now these standards have become a must rather than a bonus. Social media allows and encourages everyone to watch everyone else at all times, and through likes, views, and follows. This creates the demand for girls to constantly have an entertaining, aesthetically pleasing life to display. Girls are particularly vulnerable to these demands as society holds them to a much higher standard of appearance, relationships, likability,  and their actions.

Another cruelty of this era of social media is the fact that this standard is enforced on nearly everyone. Social media has given this generation the illusion that everyone else has everything, and if you don’t, you are somehow behind. It is not enough to not have social media, as these expectations follow girls through modern books, shows, peer groups, and pop culture. The It Girl replaces passing trends with a modern blueprint for belonging.

Of course, social media harms young people in countless ways. But what is specifically damaging about the pressure to be an it girl is the fact that it is an impossible task. Girls are chasing a vision shaped by corporations that profit from their  insecurities: beauty brands, wellness companies, influencers, and algorithm-driven platforms. The more unattainable the ideal, the more girls will invest and the more these corporations make. When girls inevitably fail to meet these standards, it only deepens the mental health crisis today by generating further insecurity, anxiety, and depression. The it girl standard is not problematic solely because it is impossible; it is problematic because it has created the illusion that it is entirely possible.

The it girl trend began nearly a century ago and is once again trapping girls in unrealistic standards for every part of their lives, and through constant visibility, these standards have seeped into nearly every waking moment. But this situation is not indefinite. I would like to emphasize that this is not to say that social media is all bad. Social media has the potential and currently has many positive aspects on girls’ lives. The answer is not to abandon social media entirely, but to rethink who gets to define the it girl. Girls must build a collective movement that redefines the iconic. This does not mean rejecting beauty, confidence, or the desire to feel special, but rather rejecting the idea of perfection.

There is nothing more iconic than someone who is emphatic, compassionate, genuine, and resilient. Create a standard that does not create envy but fosters inspiration. In re-imagining the it girl as someone who uplifts others, we will create a more positive world for girls that will benefit not only individuals but entire communities.